Meditation

Cat fight outside

Cat fight in my head

Baby in my belly won't go to bed

Irritated, frustrated; feeling quite alone

Working through the weight

Breathing past the pain

Body/mind rebellion

More of the same

Watching myself go through the motions

Bored, tired and dry

Waiting on the spark

The will to try 

He's laying next to me

But not with me

Even this is wrapped in guilt

No escape

No reprieve

Take a deep breath 

It's just a scene

A moment

Passing like the others

Flowing with the stream

Rejoining calmer waters

Released inside a dream

Making people & things

I'm in the process of building baby #3....which means I'm also making dances and poems in a very process-oriented way. Contradiction Dance did a very informal showing of the some work yesterday. It felt good. Even when I'm too pregnant to dance myself, it feels wonderful to still put my ideas out there.

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snowflakes

adding up 

like snowflakes

falling

collecting

combining

sticking

where is the sun

melting

washing

cleansing

clearing

away

Dear Grandmother

I think of you...

When I make soup. When I water the plants. When I clean the tub.

(cheap shampoo works best)

When I see something you made because you took the time to make beautiful things.

When I wrap a gift. When I un-wrap a gift. Because you gave so many.

When I am angry at my husband for being himself. I remember your wise words:

"I love him. Sometimes I just don't like him very much."

When I dance.

You told me to keep going because you did. I remember you doing a time-step for me.

(who knew you could tap?)

Time steps for all of us.

All over us. Relentlessly.

Wrapped up in memory, circuitous and flimsy; the ribbon ties us in knots.

Un-tied by time. A life un-done by the long goodbye of a cruel disease.

Bound together again here. Now. By all of us.

The beautiful things she made.

So lovingly, unsparingly, and with great precision.

Yours is a deliberate soul made colorful by her passion, creativity, and wit.

Perfect slacks, blouses and demi-heels rapping a solid 4/4 march through my childhood.

Unapologetically demanding respect. Decisive and ambitious.

You taught me fierce.

When I am fierce, I am you.

I am fierce.

I am you.


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