Monday, September 21, 2009

Parrot Joke




A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem..

I have two female parrots,
But they only know how to say one thing.'

'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

They say,

'Hi, we're hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?'

That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment.
'You know,' he said,

'I may have a solution to your problem.

I have two male talking parrots,

Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house,

And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,

And your parrots are sure to stop saying . .

That phrase . . In no time.'

Thank you,' the woman responded,

'this may very well be the solution.'


The next day,

She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in,

She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes,

The female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we're hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence.

Shocked,

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot

And exclaimed,

'Put the beads away, Frank.

Our prayers have been answered!'

Saturday, September 19, 2009

AUDITIONS!



OPEN AUDITIONS


SEEKING PROFESSIONAL & PRE-PROFESSIONAL DANCERS


DATE: SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 2009

TIME: 4PM REGISTRATION; 4:30-6:30 AUDITIONS


PLACE: CONTRADICTION DANCE STUDIO

7014 WESTMORELAND AVE., SUITE A

TAKOMA PARK, MD 20912


CONTRADICTION DANCE: PROFESSIONAL PERFORMANCE COMPANY


Contradiction Dance is a place where theatre, dance, and pop culture meet. The company’s vision is to make dances that report on, reflect, and question the world in which we live. Nurtured on the belief that artists and audience members communicate in a dialogue through the chosen medium, Contradiction Dance fosters discussion, reflection, and change through live performance and dance education.


Rehearsals: Wed & Fri 10am-2pm Sat 3pm-7pm


M A S S I V E A T T A C K: PRE-PROFESSIONAL PERFORMANCE COMPANY

We are seeking thirsty young adults willing to take creative risks exploring the fusion of dance styles. We are looking for a very diverse group of movers who are interested in expanding their core technical skills, building a common movement vocabulary, and augmenting each other's specialties.


Rehearsal: Sat 3-5p
Class: Wed
6-7:30pm AND Sat 1:30-3pm


Please visit: www.contradictiondance.com for further information.

Email: contradictiondance@gmail.com Phone: 240.450.2420

Friday, September 18, 2009

In the News :)

My breakfast meeting didn't show up... I had an enormous breakfast all by myself, reading the paper and enjoying the precious moments alone. AHHHH... great way to start the workday!

Enjoy the article :)

http://www.gazette.net/stories/09162009/takonew184714_32528.shtml

E-mail this article \ Print this article

Jeremy Arias/The Gazette
Contradiction Dance instructors (from left) Kelly Mayfield, Arianna Ross, Jasmine Artis and Melissa Bustamante perform a segment from the company's controversial and acclaimed production, Objects of Hope: Washington, D.C., during an evening, adults-only studio fundraiser event held after the studioĆ­s annual open house Saturday.

As the de facto leader of the daring fire-dancers, Valentine and his companions use everything from elaborate costumes to flame-tipped fans, chains and staves — combined with carefully rehearsed dance steps — to create a dazzling display of skill, artistry and fearlessness for their audience.

"I like to play with my toys — I like fire — it really gives me energy for my dance," Valentine said, explaining how, after discovering his love for fire at the age of nine – and nearly burning down his grandparents' barn in the process – he decided to find a more constructive outlet for his expression.

"Fire-spinners are very freedom-loving creatures, and they tend to balk at any sort of direction or choreography," he said. "My expression comes in being able to work with these very free-spirits and make something more than just a random crowd of people playing with fire. We come together and create art together."

And in as diverse and artistically minded a city as Takoma Park, Valentine and his group are not alone. Dance Afire is just one of the many dance groups working out of the Contradiction Dance Studio on Westmoreland Avenue in Old Town Takoma Park. The studio, which held its second annual open house and fundraiser casino night Saturday, also boasts a bevy of belly and hoop dancers and dance instruction ranging in everything from ballet to hip-hop.

At the open house, attendees were invited to sample hands-on lessons of the classes offered at the studio.

Many of the studio's instructors, and even a handful of students, including Emma Herbert, were present to guide the public through the many activities. Herbert, 17, dances in Massive Attack, the contemporary dance group of studio director Kelly Mayfield.

"I used to feel like there was nothing I could carry with me to prove that I'm a dancer," she said. "[Eventually] I realized, it's me; it's my body, and I can make art with it, and it's really the most beautiful art, because it's just me using what I have naturally."

The event also featured performances by established professionals, including an interpretive dance by Mayfield and other instructors criticizing the treatment of the homeless in nearby Washington, D.C.

The dance, from a production called "Objects of Hope," has received both harsh criticism and effusive praise from audiences for a segment, which Mayfield and others performed at the adults-only casino night Saturday, featuring the American flag.

In the show, the dancers wear all white and roll across a canvas spread over the floor, smearing themselves with red and blue paint. Mayfield, acting the part of a homeless person, was eventually draped in the American flag and stepped over and dismissed by her fellow dancers, who were playing passersby.

"I hope we will spark a dialogue [with this piece]," Mayfield said. "That's what art is all about; I put this out there in front of you and other audiences because I don't have the answer [to homelessness]. Hopefully through sparking enough dialogue, I can find an answer. Maybe we all can."

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A story of a mugging...




My niece sent this.... hilarious! I'm not advocating guns for everyone, but it does make you think about the criminals being the only ones armed, huh? Thoughts? Discussion? hmmmmm....

Posted to Craig's List / Personals:



To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before

last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black

Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, s hortly after you

pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our life’s. You

also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope

that you somehow come across this rather important message.


First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect

you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you

took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the

jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber

Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a

shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that

it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't

it! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come

from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse

; walking bare footed since I made you leave your shoes,

cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or

running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her

listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd

done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other

people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big

motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your

shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along

with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw

your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked

at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side20window and

keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone..

Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone

for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I

managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and

one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible

target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat

(I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I

should apologize for not killing

you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate

punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to

sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can

&nbs p; only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps

reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember,

next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!


Thoughtfully yours,
Alex