Monday, September 21, 2009
Parrot Joke
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem..
I have two female parrots,
But they only know how to say one thing.'
'What do they say?' the priest inquired.
They say,
'Hi, we're hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?'
That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment.
'You know,' he said,
'I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots,
Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house,
And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying . .
That phrase . . In no time.'
Thank you,' the woman responded,
'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.
Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we're hookers!
Do you want to have some fun?'
There was stunned silence.
Shocked,
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot
And exclaimed,
'Put the beads away, Frank.
Our prayers have been answered!'
Saturday, September 19, 2009
AUDITIONS!
OPEN AUDITIONS
SEEKING PROFESSIONAL & PRE-PROFESSIONAL DANCERS
DATE:
TIME: 4PM REGISTRATION;
PLACE: CONTRADICTION DANCE STUDIO
CONTRADICTION DANCE: PROFESSIONAL PERFORMANCE COMPANY
Contradiction Dance is a place where theatre, dance, and pop culture meet. The company’s vision is to make dances that report on, reflect, and question the world in which we live. Nurtured on the belief that artists and audience members communicate in a dialogue through the chosen medium, Contradiction Dance fosters discussion, reflection, and change through live performance and dance education.
Rehearsals: Wed & Fri 10am-2pm Sat 3pm-7pm
M A S S I V E A T T A C K: PRE-PROFESSIONAL PERFORMANCE COMPANY
We are seeking thirsty young adults willing to take creative risks exploring the fusion of dance styles. We are looking for a very diverse group of movers who are interested in expanding their core technical skills, building a common movement vocabulary, and augmenting each other's specialties.
Rehearsal: Sat 3-5p
Class: Wed
Please visit: www.contradictiondance.com for further information.
Email: contradictiondance@gmail.com Phone: 240.450.2420
Friday, September 18, 2009
In the News :)
Enjoy the article :)
http://www.gazette.net/stories/09162009/takonew184714_32528.shtml
Express yourself: Dance studio holds second open house and fundraiser
Whether daring, fun or controversial, studio holds art above all
As the de facto leader of the daring fire-dancers, Valentine and his companions use everything from elaborate costumes to flame-tipped fans, chains and staves — combined with carefully rehearsed dance steps — to create a dazzling display of skill, artistry and fearlessness for their audience.
"I like to play with my toys — I like fire — it really gives me energy for my dance," Valentine said, explaining how, after discovering his love for fire at the age of nine – and nearly burning down his grandparents' barn in the process – he decided to find a more constructive outlet for his expression.
"Fire-spinners are very freedom-loving creatures, and they tend to balk at any sort of direction or choreography," he said. "My expression comes in being able to work with these very free-spirits and make something more than just a random crowd of people playing with fire. We come together and create art together."
And in as diverse and artistically minded a city as Takoma Park, Valentine and his group are not alone. Dance Afire is just one of the many dance groups working out of the Contradiction Dance Studio on Westmoreland Avenue in Old Town Takoma Park. The studio, which held its second annual open house and fundraiser casino night Saturday, also boasts a bevy of belly and hoop dancers and dance instruction ranging in everything from ballet to hip-hop.
At the open house, attendees were invited to sample hands-on lessons of the classes offered at the studio.
Many of the studio's instructors, and even a handful of students, including Emma Herbert, were present to guide the public through the many activities. Herbert, 17, dances in Massive Attack, the contemporary dance group of studio director Kelly Mayfield.
"I used to feel like there was nothing I could carry with me to prove that I'm a dancer," she said. "[Eventually] I realized, it's me; it's my body, and I can make art with it, and it's really the most beautiful art, because it's just me using what I have naturally."
The event also featured performances by established professionals, including an interpretive dance by Mayfield and other instructors criticizing the treatment of the homeless in nearby Washington, D.C.
The dance, from a production called "Objects of Hope," has received both harsh criticism and effusive praise from audiences for a segment, which Mayfield and others performed at the adults-only casino night Saturday, featuring the American flag.
In the show, the dancers wear all white and roll across a canvas spread over the floor, smearing themselves with red and blue paint. Mayfield, acting the part of a homeless person, was eventually draped in the American flag and stepped over and dismissed by her fellow dancers, who were playing passersby.
"I hope we will spark a dialogue [with this piece]," Mayfield said. "That's what art is all about; I put this out there in front of you and other audiences because I don't have the answer [to homelessness]. Hopefully through sparking enough dialogue, I can find an answer. Maybe we all can."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
A story of a mugging...
My niece sent this.... hilarious! I'm not advocating guns for everyone, but it does make you think about the criminals being the only ones armed, huh? Thoughts? Discussion? hmmmmm....
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before
last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black
Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, s hortly after you
pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our life’s. You
also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope
that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn't expect
you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the
jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber
Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a
shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that
it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't
it! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come
from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse
; walking bare footed since I made you leave your shoes,
cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or
running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her
listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd
done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other
people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big
motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your
shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along
with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw
your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked
at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side20window and
keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone..
Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone
for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I
managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and
one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible
target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat
(I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I
should apologize for not killing
you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate
punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to
sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can
&nbs p; only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps
reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember,
next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex