Matches

Love is an unlit match
Untapped potential
Waiting to burn

Strike that match
watch it burn
relationship

quotes and thoughts

I read Paulo Coelho's book, "The Witch of Portobello" in two days... it's the first book I've read in a while that prompted me to grab a high-lighter. It's good brain-candy for people who believe they are on a path, the path, your path, my path. Warning: I do think it's a girly read - I don't know if men would dig it as much, men... do you? Hmmm I don't know.

"Do you know what the word ecstasy means? It comes from the Greek and means 'to stand outside yourself.' Spending the whole day outside yourself is asking too much of body and soul."

That's what performing feels like. You're outside yourself. Like all orgasmic moments - it takes as much as it gives, sometimes more.

"That although ecstasy is the ability to stand outside yourself, dance is a way of rising up into space, of discovering new dimensions while remaining in touch with your body. When you dance, the spiritual world and the real world manage to coexist quite happily."

I agree - when I'm dancing socially, or in a club, or training in the a.m.'s like I do, dance is this way. However, performing is pure ecstasy and far more taxing. Though, I think the former is why all people should dance more in general. I feel the same about long walks in the woods, on the beach or anywhere that requires people to touch nature one one one - whether it be mother nature outside us or mother nature within.

For me, I'm off to take a daycation at my new fave B & B. I plan on staring at the water and enjoying the company of a.k. I'm so happy to have the time and capacity to take even a day...

Two more quotes:

"After all, what is happiness?

Love, they tell me. But love doesn't bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it's a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it's sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony."

I'm pondering that one....

"Let go of the idea that the path will lead you to your goal. The truth is that with each step we take, we arrive."

Exactly. People like me kind of cling to this one! It brings peace.

Walking in a field of buttercups to watch my students' site-specific performance yesterday.

Coling Gilbert:Step one to being with me

A friend from way back has become an incredible spoken word artist: Colin Gilbert. He frequently posts offerings such as this... please check him out and offer him support. And, I agree... this is love to me.

www.freecolin.net

Step one to being with me

Here is one of the new pieces from the book "I Lung You, Notes from a Clockbreaker." To learn more about this poem, this book or to order this book please pay close attention to this blog over the next few weeks. FYI: If you ever consider dating me, you gotta be willing to think of it like this.

Omnia Vincit Amor
"Love Conquers All"

The used bookstore where I live is so small, the fantasy
and romance sections are combined. This scares me.
I believe In love the way children believe in fairytale
endings. And that isn’t to say I’m Prince Charming. But I have
dated enough Wicked Witches to know I am ready for Cinderella.

I miss the day love was check yes or no. I miss how love
was "she looked at me from across the classroom, now
she’s my girlfriend." I miss how love was, "Do you want to
hold hands?", kissing her on the cheek in the skating rink

and adding a special note to that same Valentine card
you gave everyone in the class. I want to go back to the day
love was Jack and Jill - two kids falling together. Love
was pushing her on the swing set and dancing to Bon Jovi

mix tapes. Love was when she smiled you felt like Mr. Kool-Aid,
one big red jar of awesome. And yes, red was a flavor. Love
was crayola crayons. She was bright as yellow. When she was
gone, you were blue. Love was scaring her with your show

and tell spider until she punched you in the stomach and said,
"You are a very big fat stupid head." Love was "I’m rubber
you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks
to you." Love was being a pint-size gentleman, giving her
a dandelion you picked from the garden in front of the school.

Love never worried about being cool. It was your grandparents
giving each other a kiss every night when they went to sleep.
It was carving your initials into a tree, it was cliché, it was easy
and it was "You show me yours and I’ll show you mine."
It was Romeo and Juliet. And yes, love was blind. Love

was the hardest thing to define, yet you knew it the moment
you felt it. It didn’t have degrees. It wore no coats of cool
and practiced no cheesy smile poses holding beer. Love didn’t
need to get you drunk and it never said, "uh hey, let’s do it."

Love was never scheduled by convenience - "After high school
but before I graduate. After my freshman year but before
I’m a Senior. After I get my degree, but before children. I’m not

ready yet." Now love carries a date book and answers alarm
clocks. It earns a good salary and has an attractive benefits
package. We plan chance and spontaneity and keep sparks
and chemistry stored in a water tanks. And if we feel something

similar to love, we do whatever it takes to screw it up. The day I
met you I decided to change all of this. Being with you
is like having front row tickets to the awesome show.
Like an 8 year old winning at a carnival. You get me. "

And maybe that means I’m giving you permission to play
me but with you I’m like 13th place in a 10 person race
at the Special Olympics - I’m a winner just for being in the game.

I never loved like it wouldn’t work out. I never got my seven
minutes in heaven moment. And I know ’easy’ never figured
into this adult thing, but if there is still such a thing as love…

Let’s do it. We’re two steps away from dancing like we mean it.
Kiss me in the dark and I’ll pay a lifetime to see you smile.
This heart is nothing more than a giving tree that has grown
roots some like to call arteries. The smartest thing I ever did

was say hi to you. I would die for you but not to keep you alive
and leave you behind, just because I’m still a gentleman.
If you were in a car wreck I’d drive off a cliff just to beat you
to heaven so I could open the gates for you. Like Jack and Jill,

two kids falling together, I will be there to catch you. I want to
kiss Juliet on the mouth to cheat on you with death,
only God’s breath could compare to yours on my neck.
You’ve got me waking up in cemeteries. Finding dandelions

in the saddest places. Like you, finding a home in my chest,
they don’t know they’re not supposed to grow there. You
don’t know you’re not supposed to grow here. They’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful. I want to rocking chair love you.
Like two sections of a bookstore grown together lets live

a romance some will call fantasy. Like Jack and Jill,
but cut out the falling and catching and just let me hold you.
Like two Crayola crayons, you yellow and me blue…
melt into me. Let’s be green forever.

5:29

5:29
heart on pause
––––––––––––
no sleep
can't eat
words echo
like
drum
beats
–––––––––––
thoughts
on
rewind

you
linger

in my
body
–––––––––––
record
skips
low-fi
scratch
play.rewind.

Touch
stings
heart
strings

played
out
––––––––––
song
fades
record
plays

rewind
again

heart
on
pause

Wishes...

My dear friend Arianna is getting hitched tomorrow. I am her MOH... kinda scary business! She's a wonderful, wonderful person and she found her compliment in this world; her husband is a blessing to her and she is to he. I wrote this thinking about their marriage - and many other people in my world right now.

I see so much beauty and possibility all around me; with people, art, ideas, solutions, and unity. However, I am forever tempered by the darker side of my reality: I've seen much fruit wither on the vine; untasted, tested, harvested, and tried. Possibility is like ripe fruit waiting to be picked; the effort of the climb is the greatest deterrent.

I'm encouraged by Arianna's bliss: happiness is, after all, contagious.

CHERISH
thinking of you and only of you. I find myself once again confused.
why do i miss someone I see almost everyday?
I am not without your attention, affection and love;
yet, I am filled with longing... not only desire,
that's there too, but a longing to be
closer
to set myself free within the glow of us.
let me release:
relax, breathe and be still
this unsettled feeling distracts me
I have other things to do,
thoughts to think,
dreams to turn into reality
ah, but a long-forgotten dream so nearly fulfilled:
happiness with another so like me
yet,
so different.
you are not tormented this way.
my love does not sit on a shelf and wait
it is alive;
needing food, water, & shelter from
all storms
I found home in your arms,
nourishment in your lips, hands, eyes, and smile
your honey voice is a cool balm on a tired, old soul
the younger spirit within me leaps and twirls
with joy
long
forgotten
my heart given freely, but certainly without ease;
you see,
my soul is older than it appears
worn and weathered by lives past
I've known love like this before;
a rare seed to be planted and tended with the greatest care;
fragile? no,
it can withstand trials unimagined
but, precious, wonderful, and often mistreated
cherish.
us
we
me
you
cherish me as I do you

Running...

Running is my freedom.

Love, the ultimate trap.

NO.

I’m running to a better me,

Finding freedom from the trap.

Running into your love…

No walls,

No borders,

No boundaries.

Just trust.

Contact.

Running to you, I am found.

6 May 2007